Everything I've ever known
by Sunkist
Summary: Loving someone at the wrong time could easily be the most painful experience to the human heart. But, regardless of what other people wish for you, somedays you must go against everything you’ve ever know, to gain everything you’ve ever wanted.
1. Default Chapter

Authors Notes:  Hmm, how to explain this one…um…lets just say I'm stuck between a rock a hard place, and I really need to express my anger in a practical fashion…so here goes. I hope you enjoy. Always – Aly

Disclaimer – All Harry Potter characters belong to J.K. Rowling,- Jenny..is Robyn, lol – Greg and Katelyn are figments of my insane imagination.

**__**

Everything I've ever known 

****

            _I hate you…I hate you James Potter…I hate you for throwing my heart around…_

Lily Evans sat bitterly in her History of Magic class staring at the side of James Potter's face. In her seventh and final year she had admitted it in the corner of The Three Broomsticks to Sirius, her very dear and closest friend. 

            "Listen, I don't want to love him… I just do, and so help me, if this gets out, I'll have your head Siri." She threatened. 

            Sirius Black studied his near little sister's face. Her intense emerald eyes glittered joyfully, even though she was angry, and her flaming, kinky waves twisted down around her face and down to the middle of her back.  She had a gentle porcelain colored complexion just lightly splashed with freckles on her cheeks and nose. However, at the time, Sirius was wondering whether or not to gloat or sympathize. He chose neither. 

            "So, I'm right," he said tossing a chip into his mouth and propping his legs up on the chair across from him. "Just tell Greg so long, and go after who you really want." 

            "You make it sound easy!" she yelled, throwing a chip at him. 

            "You are the one making this difficult. Personally, if you'd like to know what I think…" 

            "No one cares what you think Siri!" Lily interrupted, laughing. 

            "As I was saying, before I was so rudely interrupted, Evans! Was that, having my two best friends date would be fun." 

            "Fun?" Lily laughed with resentment. " You think the pain I'm feeling right now is fun?!" 

            "Oh..well no…but you know, dating and everything." 

            "You're an idiot…and absolutely NO help! I'm going to go talk to Jenny!" Lily said standing up. 

            "That's it…run to Jenny whenever you need some whiny girl pity party." Sirius joked. He knew Lily was the farthest thing from a whiny girl, dramaqueen, however, he enjoyed the way her eyes sparkled when she was near killing him. 

            "If I wasn't so incredibly poised, I'd kill you right now." She smiled, and walked out the door. 

            Now here she was sitting a few mere feet from him, but she couldn't do it…not to Greg. They'd been dating for years. This was all James fault anyway! Before he started dating that idiot Katelyn they were best friends. She remembered it clearly. Long, warm nights sitting up in the astrology tower with Sirius, James, and Jenny staring at the clear blue sky, glittered with a few hundred stars, laughing about growing up, and life after Hogwarts. How she had taken those days for granted. The four were quite unseperable, but that all changed whenever Katelyn moved into the picture. She had straight as a line brown hair and warm hazel eyes, she seemed nice enough, but after one night hanging out in the Gryfinndor tower with the four had instantly caused her to forbade James from being so close with "That fire haired girl." 

            The bell rang mercifully, and permitted them all to a few minutes in their common rooms before dinner. Lily gathered up her books, still staring at James head, and followed behind him at a distance. Katelyn ran up to him, and wrapped one arm around his waist, looking up at him with glee. She flipped her hair, and snapped her gum before starting in actual conversation with him. 

            "You know Lil, you could take her." Sirius said, walking beside Lily laughing. 

            "Yeah, I'd put money on you." Jenny said, twisting one of her brown cork screw curls around her finger before releasing it. She sighed as it bounced up to its regular position right below her chin. 

            "I am really going to give up on this hair…I wish it was straight, and long…" Jenny laughed, pinching Sirius as her grabbed a strand. "Boing." He laughed, releasing it. 

            Lily rolled her eyes. "You know, she isn't that pretty." 

            Sirius laughed. "You're right fireball, you are way prettier." 

            "Stop mocking me, please allow me to pathetically grovel and show some immaturity by comparing myself to her first. It makes me feel better." Lily laughed as the shrill pitch of Katelyn's giggle pierced her ears.

            "Lil, you know that he still needs you as a friend. The four of us were closer than close, and a friendship like that can't be broken by a girl!" Sirius said. 

            "Um..Siri dearest, I think it has." Jenny said pointing at James, in the center of a group of Hufflepuffs. 

            "I hate him." Lily mumbled. 

            "I hate Hufflepuffs. They're all just a bunch of bumbling idiots. 

            "Like for sure!" Lily giggled, flipping her hair, impersonating Katelyn, as they made their way past the huge herd to the common room.  

~~

            The common room greeted them like an old friend. It had the same familiar smell, same crackling fire, now bewitched by Lily to give off cool air since now summer was approaching, and the same faces. 

            "I just…well, I didn't realize that I cared for him until I saw him with some one else…and I guess, its not like I want to forget about Greg, I love him to death, we've been together for years, but something about James makes me want to forget every plan I've ever conformed to, break some chains, and fly." 

            "That was poetic." Jenny said with a smirk, sipping a cold bottle of butterbeer.

            "Thanks." Lily said. She'd grown up with Jenny enough to know that her sarcasm was really a compliment. 

            "Its time for dinner." 

            "All you do is eat." Jenny said, hopping on Sirius' back to dinner. 

            "I'm not hungry." Lily said, laughing at the pair. 

            "Come on Lils!" Sirius said, pinching Jenny's knees fastened around his waist. 

            "Ouch! Hey! Stop it!" Jenny yelled, "Lily, you have to eat." 

            "Nah, I'm going to get a shower, you know, clear my head a little." 

            "No, you have to eat." Sirius demanded. 

            "Sirius,  shutup, she'll eat when she's hungry." Jenny winked and the two left as Lily skipped up the steps to her room, walking past the two four poster beds, one her own, and the other Jenny's, to the shower, and turning the large gold knobs until cool water began to flow from the shower head. She locked the door behind her, undressed, and slipped into the shower, allowing the refreshing cool water to drain away all her thoughts. After twenty minutes of thoughtlessness and cool water she prayed for just five more minutes of quiet solitude. Her wish was not fulfilled. 

            BAM BAM BAM. 

            "Jenny! I'm in the friggin' shower, I'll be right out." Lily said through the large oak door. She was alarmed to hear the door opening. She stuck her head out ready to reprimand Jenny for not respecting her privacy. But, there stood a smirking James Potter, holding a plate of food. 

            "James! How did you get in here?! GET OUT!" she yelled, making sure that only her head was visible, as she yelled. 

            "Um, do you want me to answer your question or leave?" 

            "OUT!" 

            "Fine…but could ya hurry up? I need to talk to you." 

            "OUT!" 

            "Fine…" he laughed. 

            Lily almost smiled as she used a quick charm to dry off instantly. She pulled a green tank top over her head and quickly shoved her legs in a pair of soft denim jeans. Her hair was damp, but she never did anything to it anyway, after living with crazy, kinky, long, red hair for seventeen years you learn to just let it turn its course. She opened the door and looked at James sitting innocently on her bed, just as he had done endless nights in their younger years. He still held a plate of food. 

            "What was so important that you had to talk to me while I was in the shower?" 

            "Lil, you act like we haven't taken a shower together before." 

            Lily laughed. She, James, Sirius, and Jenny had gotten into a huge mud battle one warm summer evening after a rainstorm in their sixth year. Afterwords, the boys were forced to shower with the two girls since their showers were full and they all feared a professor finding out about their outing. 

            "That was VERY different! We all had on clothes, muddy clothes mind you, and it was four of us..friends." she said, momentarily reminiscing. 

            "Okay, I understand the fact that everyone had on clothes, but are you implying that we aren't friends anymore?" James said dejectedly. 

            "Hey, you made it that way." Lily said sitting next to him on the huge bed, dangling her feet off the edges. 

            "How?" 

            "Katelyn." 

            "She's not that bad, you should get to know her." 

            "I don't want to." 

            "Why?" 

            "Listen, you know I'm not a drama queen, and I hate pity parties, and girls who whine, so I'll tell you straight." 

            "Like you always have?" James interrupted laughing. 

            "I feel like I've lost you, and its not just me, even Sirius and Jenny are admitting it." 

            James looked at her. "I brought you dinner." 

            Lily's heart twisted awkwardly. "Thanks." 

            "The four of us always had so much fun together." James said, looking around the room at all the pictures of the four. 

            "We did." Lily agreed, "And we ALWAYS got in so much trouble." 

            "No Kidding. Remember what happened when Greg found out that the four of us were in the shower?" 

            "Oh yeah, he completely lost it." Lily laughed. 

            "Eat." James said, pointing to her food. Lily laughed and tore a roll in half, offering part of it to him. He bit into it and then continued. 

            "Yeah, he always was jealous of the four of us, never understood why you always were with us." James said, running a hand through his jet black messy hair that made every female at Hogwarts crazy. "He never understood how we all could be so close without dating." 

            "I think Jenny and Sirius want to." Lily mused, placing her roll on the plate. 

            "Lily..eat for cryin' out loud." 

            "I'm not hungry." She smiled, as she pulled her legs up and sat Indian style. 

            "So, you missed me?" 

            "We all missed you." Lily said laughing, "Not just me." 

            "I missed you too." 

            Lily raised her eyebrow at him. 

            "ALL of you, that is." He said smiling. "I wouldn't want Greg to threaten my life again." 

            Lily felt her heart beating a little faster. She desperately wanted to tell him everything – to pretend that nothing had changed. But, in reality, everything had changed – even her feelings for him. 

            "He didn't threaten your life, he's not that bad." 

            "Sure." 

            "James, don't be like that. Greg just doesn't understand why I'm so attached to you guys." Lily explained. 

            The sky grew darker, and the two could hear everyone piling into the common room, as the noise grew louder and louder. Lily stood up and sat in the window seat, staring out at the sky. James followed. 

            "Isn't it incredible?" they simultaneously said. 

            **_Know all about_**

**_            About your reputation_**

**_            And how its bound to be a heartbreak situation. _**

****

****"Yeah." Lily answered, looking into his gentle brown eyes. 

            "Lily?" he said, laughing. 

            "Yeah? I mean…yeah?" she said snapping out of her daze. 

            **_But I can't help it _**

**_            If I'm helpless everytime that I'm with_**

**_            You, now…_**

****

****"Lily?" 

            "Yeah?" 

            "I guess I kinda lied."

            "About what?" she asked, looking back up at the stars. 

            "Well, I didn't miss you the way I missed Sirius and Jenny." 

            Lily looked at him. He looked scared, happy, and worried. 

****

**_            You walk in _**

**_            And my strength walks out the door_**

**_            Say my name _**

**_            And I can't fight it anymore_**

****

****"What do you mean?" 

            "I missed you, in a different way." He stumbled over his words.

****

**_             Oh I know, I should go,_**

**_            But I need your touch_**

**_            Just oh too much. _**

****

****"James…that's what I mean." 

            "What?"

            "About Katelyn." 

            **_Lovin' you_**

**_            Isn't really something I should do_**

**_            I shouldn't want to spend my time with you_**

            I should try to be strong 

**_            But baby you're the right kind of wrong. _**

****

****"Well, its that…I miss you..to the point that… I don't know.. I don't understand anything anymore." Lily said satnading up from her seat in exasperation. 

            "Lil, I don't understand either." 

            "No James, you really don't." she turned, looking at him, praying for a sign. 

**_            It might be a mistake,_**

**_            A mistake I'm making. _**

**_            But what you're givin' _**

**_            I am happy to be taking. _**

**_Cause no one's ever made me feel the way I feel when I'm in your arms._**

****

"I had my whole life mapped out, and now, when I see you – with her – with Katelyn, I want to throw it all out the window, and fly." 

"Wait, are you saying…that…" 

"Listen, Sirius and Jenny already think I'm crazy, so if you are just recognizing my insanity you're a little late." She halfheartedly laughed and joined him by the seat overlooking the lake. The only light was the moonlight, flwoing through the windows like illuminated water. 

****

**_            They say you're something I should do without_**

**_            They don't know what goes on when the night comes out_**

**_            Theres no way to explain,_**

**_            All the pleasure is worth all the pain _**

**_you're the right kind of wrong._**

****

"Lily, its killed me to see you with Greg." James confessed. 

"When we were younger, I didn't chase you around the grounds and pull your hair so you'd hate me." 

"Even though I did." Lily said laughing. 

"I wanted your attention." 

**_Lovin' you_**

**_            Isn't really something I should do_**

**_            I shouldn't want to spend my time with you_**

            I should try to be strong 

**_            But baby you're the right kind of wrong. _**

****

****"You didn't have to try to get it." Lily paused, looking him in the eye. "It was yours to being with." 

            He looked at her, and on a whim and pure instinct pulled her into his arms. 

****

**_I should try to run_**

**_But I just can't seem to _**

**_Cause everytime I run _**

**_You're the one I run to_**

**_Can't do without, _**

**_What you do to me_**

**_I don't care if I'm into deep_**

****

"James?" 

"Lily…I'm going to kiss you, but after its over we have to go to the Common Room and pretend nothings happened okay?"

Lily's heart pounded uncertainly. 

"Katelyn and Greg are going to be down there waiting for us, but I want you to know…that…" 

"James." Lily whispered, putting a finger to his trembling lips. " I don't need excuses." 

He softly pulled her closer, and her hand gently rested on his cheek, cool from the breeze, dancing around them in the cascading moonlight. He pulled her so close to him that she felt his very heartbeat and nothing mattered anymore, all her logic – all her practicality – all her intelligence – all her plans – instantly, out the window when his lips met hers. She could concentrate only on his gentle kiss, more meaningful than anything she'd ever felt before, more loving than any touch, more memorable than any girlhood puppy love. 

Seconds turned to minutes, of soft, innocent kisses, then more urgent, loving kisses. When they finally parted, James looked into Lily's eyes, sparkling in the moonlight, then he allowed his eyes to take in her entire face, the splashed freckles, the brilliant smile, and her incredible fiery hair twisting around her face in orange and red strips of fire. She looked at him. 

"I felt that." She said, smiling. 

"I did too." 

"James?" she whispered, "I never felt that with Greg." 

"Katelyn is just a pretty face." 

"Can we change things?"  Lily asked.

"Do you want to?" James asked. 

"Well, …….." 

The silence was so thick, Lily had trouble breathing. 

"I guess not. I mean, we can't change things can we?" she asked. 

"I don't want to hurt Katelyn." 

"I don't want to leave Greg." 

"Why?" they both asked at the same time. 

"Katelyn, needs me." 

"Everthing is so certain with Greg." 

Lily reacted on impulse, and kissed both his cheeks gently – he could feel her love burning on his face even after she stood up and looked at him. 

"If nothing else is certain Lily…" he paused. "Just know that I've never needed to hold someone, or kiss someone, or love someone, the way I do you." He kissed her gently one last time, and with her arms around his neck, and his cheek resting on hers as they held one another, everything made sense, in a crazy desperate way, the world was right. 

"Off to face the party?" James said. 

"Sure." Lily smiled, squeezing his hand gently once before they opened the door and parted down the stairs, James finding Katelyn – and Lily finding Greg. However, the moment they left behind them in the glittering moonlight, never left their minds, or their hearts. 

Authors Notes…Well? Maybe I'll make it a series…but wow…I feel better now. I had to get that off my heart. Ah, the heart is such a secretive thing, holding passions that no one will ever know, no matter how much you desire to tell them. Please, review. Always – Aly

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	2. Go and wish on every star thats falling

**_Authors Notes: Hmm…how do I describe this one? Lets call it torn…lol. "I could pack myself up in a matter of minutes and leave you all far behind. All my whole world, and all the things in it are hard to find. Like they never were mine."  Lol. We'll leave it at that. All my love ~ Aly_**

****

****

Greg Windmiere was a typical Quidditch all-star. Strong build, large toothy smile, bold eyes, and a fan club, complete with giggling fourth years. However, despite all the looks and the glory that came with Greg, Lily saw beneath all that, to a person she loved, and cared about…well, maybe not so much loved, but she did care about him. 

            He looked at her curiously…

            "Did you and James Potter just walk out of your room together?" he asked, smiling. 

            "Yes, we were looking for Sirius." She smiled back, the smile was forced, and painful, and she wished nothing more than to turn back time, and stand back in the moonlight with James. 

            "You know, Potter is a terrific Quidditch player…he's got tons of talent." Greg commented, taking Lily's hand in his own, it felt cold and odd, as if her hand was not meant to be there. Why did she even leave the room?!  She wondered how James was handling this. 

            "James?" Katelyn cooed from the fireplace, letting off cool air now, because of Lily. "Where were you? I've been sitting here for nearly a half-hour!" 

She huffed and placed her hands on both of her hips rather girlishly, and allowed her immaturity to blaze through. 

            James held down the urge to go grab Lily, and forget the pathetic lies they were both living, but he refused. 

            "Sorry, I was busy. I'm here now." He said casually, and that was enough for Katelyn, afterall, James was popular, handsome , and a Quidditch starter, she knew better than to sacrifice her reputation by causing a scene. She wanted the entire school to envy the two of them. She didn't want anyone to know how secretly jealous she got at times, how angry he would get when she'd make a smart comment about one of his friends. Life was merely a warped perspective of reality, and lately, she could not tell the difference. James left her momentarily to get something to drink, and she was still pondering where he had been as he walked away from her, deliberately searching for something besides a beverage. 

            "Lily!" he yelled out, and he smiled as she turned around and grinned. 

            "Yeah?" she yelled over the music. 

            "Sirius wants to tell you something, c'mere." He yelled. 

            "What?" Sirius yelled. 

            "NOTHING!" Lily and James simultaneously replied, pulling him over to a corner with them. 

            "Give me just one second Gregs, I'll be right back." 

            "Sure thing, love." He said, oblivious to the fact that Lily was so filled with joy whenever James called her name. 

            "Yeah?" she said, walking over to a confused Sirius and a gleaming James. 

            "I told him." James confessed. 

            "You what!" 

            "And…Sirius told me." Jenny said, walking up behind her." 

            "Oh my …..oh my….help me…" Lily whispered. 

            "Lils, we're your bestfriends, do you think we're going to announce it to the room?" Jenny said. 

            "I suppose not, its just that…its all so hard, and confusing." Lily started. 

            "Its just too much drama for Lily." Sirius finished, laughing. 

            "Pretty much." She confessed, looking at James…seeing the look in his warm brown eyes she had seen only minutes ago. 

            "So what are you going to do?" Sirius asked. 

            "I don't know, I just…well, Lil, I had to call you over here, I had to see you, to see your eyes, I can't stand this. I can't stand this pretend love stuff with Katelyn." James said, looking at her. 

            "Guys, this is not the place to be discussing this." Jenny whispered, glaring at Katelyn and the posse of girls behind her, shooting daggers at Lily and herself.  

            "I can't hurt him James." 

            "I know, its just…" 

            "Hard." 

            They both smiled, and returned to their impatient couples. When Lily returned Greg greeted her with  a sincere hug. 

            "I love you, I know I don't tell you enough…but I do." Greg whispered. 

            "Thank you." Lily whispered back, refusing to lie to him. "I have to go to bed, I've got a huge test in the morning." She lied. 

            "Alright, goodnight you." 

            "G'Night Gregs, love you." she yelled over her shoulder as she walked up the stairs to her dormitory. Before she entered her room she turned to look at James in the common room below the balcony. He immediately looked at her, and they both smiled with sad, determined, resolute faces as if admitting they were trapped. 

            Trapped. That was such a perfect suiting word. Lily could not think of a worse situation. She paced around her  bed a few times, allowing her mind to wander. Finally, she demanded it to stop focusing on James Potter, and get ready for bed.  She switched into in pajamas and sat on her bed with her History of Magic book, studying to distract her. 

            "That's my girl, studying for comfort." Jenny laughed as she walked in the door. "No wonder you have such good grades."  

            "Yeah, yeah, yeah." She said, quietly shutting the book. 

            "So..it finally happened?" Jenny said, getting a mischievous glitter in her large brown eyes, as she climbed onto her bed. 

            "Yeah." Lily smiled. 

            "Come on! Details…" 

            "Well, it was incredible, he just took me in his arms and said 'I'm going to kiss you, and afterwards we are going to go down to the party.' Its like we both just admitted that we couldn't do anything to fix it, but we couldn't deny how we felt…it was incredible." Lily smiled. 

            "What! You're just going to keep this a secret?" 

            "Yes, and you are too. G'Night Jen." She laughed, pulling the curtains around her bed to a close.

            "But, wait…doesn't that mean?" Jenny started, as Lily pulled open her curtains with a horrified look on her face. 

            "I cheated on Greg." She finished Jenny's sentence. 

            Lily got out of bed early on Friday, the sunlight was warmly entering the windows promising a new day. She let the beams kiss her cheeks before she stood before the mirror in the bathroom, freeing her flaming hair from its braid. The waves cascaded about her back, and she quietly brushed it, in deep thought. 

            She walked back into her room glancing at a clock; Jenny had three more minutes till she had to wake up. Lily momentarily wondered what on earth Jenny would do without Lily to wake her up and help her throughout her day -everyday. She laughed without noise as she made her way to the closet, pulling a long sleeve emerald green shirt over her head and phlegmatically putting on black pants that would show underneath her black school robes. 

            She raced across the room and leapt onto Jenny's bed, grinning. 

            "Wake up my most bestest friend in the world! I love you!" 

            Jenny tried stuffing a pillow over Lily's face, but she dodged it and pulled her out of bed into the bathroom. Jenny stooped over the skin, eyes still closed, hair moving in every direction. 

            "I'll let you fight the morning, but hurry okay?" 

            "Hmmph." She mumbled incoherently. 

            Ten minutes later, Jenny walked out of the bathroom, and stumbled over to her closet, pulling a white T-shirt and black pants on underneath her black robe. 

            " I hate you." Jenny said. 

            "Boy, if I had a knut for every morning I've heard that one." Lily said, not looking up from her book she was reading on her bed. 

            "No..this is a different reason." 

            "Oh..my! Do tell!" Lily laughed. 

            "Well, I hate you because the rest of us look like clones and your hair is so long, I don't know, you just stand out." 

            "Are you complimenting me?" Lily laughed. 

            "No. I'm jealous, there's a difference." Jenny corrected, opening the door to go downstairs. 

            Lily instantly spotted James out of everyone crowding the common room in somnolent conversations before breakfast. She quickened her steps down the stairs and walked over to him, trying not to smile to hard. 

            "Morning James." she said. Curse this face for revealing my heart, stop smiling! 

            He turned around and looked at her. James looked as if he was just about to say something to her, but then, as if on instinct, he seemed as if he had just remembered something, and turned around, ignoring her presence. 

            "James?" she said again. He didn't even flinch. 

            "What's with you?!" she demanded. 

            He turned around. "Listen Lily, nothing can come from this." he whispered solemnly. "Lets just let this go." 

            "Lets just pretend that our feelings don't exist?" she asked bitterly. 

            "Yes." 

            "I can't believe you." she whispered, as she turned on her heels and exited the door to breakfast, her flaming hair, swaying behind her. 

            _I don't understand how someone's feelings can just change that fast? How can he just pretend that he never felt anything for me? How can he just stop feeling this way? Why am I being punished for a feeling? Isn't it enough for him that I'm placing my future with Greg on the line for him? I don't understand. How can I care so much and yet, he feels nothing? Why is he ignoring me? What have I done?! I've ruined a friendship! Things will never be the same. _

**_Authors Notes: Don't you hate it whenever someone takes your heart and throws it up against the wall without even realizing your pain?_****__**


	3. Everything changed in a matter of minute

_Authors Notes: Well, this chapter …well, I don't want to give anything away, but this is_

**_about a certain emotion exploding inside me at the moment, so I had to write it down. Hope_**

**_you like! Always ~ Aly _**

_Ever feel your legs give out at the sight of someone?  _ _Chapter Three - Everything I've Known_

Distractedly studying in Transfigurations, Lily gazed from her book to James every

other……minute. What had happened? That unbreakable friendship? The constant laughter? The unstoppable four? Why did it seem like Sirius and Jenny were all she had left? Well…in so many words, they were. Her Grandmother, her life, her world, her strength, had died by Voldemorts hand just two years prior. Lily had never known her parents, they had run away when she was born, fearing her natural born "powers" obviously obtained from her Grandmother. Lily was unfortunately blessed with two parents who cared only for themselves, and did not care about her health, her life, her well-being. Lily remembered a summer whenever her Grandmother had left town, and Lily was forced to stay with her real parents for a weekend. By Sunday, they had tried to mold her into their own personal mold of conformity - trying to change her clothes -convince her that she was worth more as a muggle.  

_I cannot be what you want me to be, I can only be myself.  _

So who was left to love her? Lily never realized how very independent she was. Afterall, she had her own apartment for the summers and even though only one more year of Hogwarts remained…she still recognized her youth, yet depended only on herself. 

But then there was James, a shrewd little grin playing across his lips as she studied his profile. Jet black, slightly unkempt hair, sparkling brown eyes, and an arrogant little smile that she hated to admit that she loved. 

Her quill dryly scratched the parchment, begging for more ink, but as Lily began to refill it, James stood up, walked over to the empty seat beside her and wrote on a piece of parchment in untidy scrawl.  

Meet me in Astrology Tower at Midnight, don't bring Sirius or Jenny, I know its the spot for all  four of us, but just us tonight.  

Lily stared at the words for a few silent seconds after that. Professor Monnollop's droning voice, the giggling of friends, and the slamming of text books, all the sounds drained from her ears. She placed her books, quills, and parchment, in her satchel, then waited patiently for the class to end. 

~~ 

Dinner was rowdy as usual, the Gryfinndors had decided that the warm weather called for water fights on the grounds and to all other houses dismay, the battle had spread to the table. Soon enough water was going in all different directions, all over the food, all over new quills, pitchers of pumpkin juice, howling textbooks, and angry professors. Lily couldn't help but find herself lost within the moment of bliss. She laughed loudly, and acquiesced to the demanding water battle. 

She remembered earlier years whenever she wouldn't dare do anything to upset the professors or the older students, but she had stopped caring long ago. Age had permitted carelessness in some cases, she only wished that age hadn't permitted the carelessness in which James Potter held her heart.

She lost sight of him about a half and hour earlier, and now as she quickly checked her watch she realized she was insanely late.  

~~ 

"James?" Lily called through the darkened room. A gentle beam of starlight drifted in the windows, and painted the walls a gleaming silver. The light permitted Lily to view the million instruments with in the

room. The spindles, the telescopes, the chiming wind spheres, all made terrific visuals around the room.

She couldn't help but smile at the memory's that were painted on the walls.

"Hey…Potter?" she yelled, walking over to one of the long thin window that stretched, openly from ceiling to floor. She braced her arms on either side of the window, permitting her a glittering view of the grounds, and a fresh breath of air, carrying with it the delicious scent of rain. She smiled, and breathed deeply.

"Lily." James whispered, turning her quietly around. Before she could react he pulled her into his arms and was holding her, a mere desperate inches from his face. She closed her eyes for a second longer than a blink, and prayed that she wouldn't wake up from this reality.

"I know this is wrong, I know that I should stop…but oh..Lil, I can't stop thinking about you."

"This is wrong. Let go of me, you can't just play with my heart like its some yo-yo… I don't work that way."

"Lil, I'm confused, not heartless."

"Could've fooled me." she mumbled

"Comeon!"

"Listen, you said it yourself this morning."

"Lily, I can't help the way I feel."

"Neither can I?! If I could I would make this feeling go away! But I can't….I'm stuck with this aching need to be near you, all the time. Everything is perfect with Greg, everything is settled, and taken care of, but I don't want a planned life. I just love you…that's all I can do." she said softly, avoiding his eye contact.

"Lily."

"Stop saying my name like that." She whispered. "Before I do something I shouldn't."

"Like what?" he answered, as equally quiet.

"This."

Lily placed her hands on either side of his cheeks and pulled him closer to her, she kissed his eyelids, then finally, his lips. Once again, time stood mercifully still, and despite the fact that James went against everything she'd ever known, she couldn't deny the deep rooted love that was starting to bloom.

When she finally released him and slid her hands from his face down his arms; she looked directly into his eyes.

"Tell me that you didn't feel anything." She demanded.

He was silent for a few moments, but then he looked into her sparkling eyes and opened his mouth to respond. "I can't tell you that, because I feel an emotion with you that I've never felt with Katelyn."

"But…." He started.

"I know, you can't hurt her. Hey, that's fine. I just…..wanted two more minutes in your arms."

He gazed at her with so much love, she felt it radiating off of him. "Listen shrimp, you can stay here in my arms, and I won't let you till you let go."

"Why do I have to love you at such a wrong time?" she laughed, leaning on his chest.

"I don't know. Why is it I have to climb 1,000 mountains to get to you, and one glance from you gets me?" he asked.

They laughed, and the pure innocent laughter floated up into the atmosphere where all laughs go, until the giggles bounced between the stars, and rang out among the warm night air.


	4. A world filled, with unanswered question

**Authors Notes:**** Loving someone at the wrong time could easily be the most painful experience to the human heart. But, regardless of what other people wish for you, somedays you must go against everything you've ever know, to gain everything you've ever wanted. **

**                        Always,**

**                                    Aly**

**Everything I've ever Known **

"We have to stop meeting like this." Lily laughed, as she sat next to James in the Astrology Tower, their legs dangling out the open, floor to ceiling window. His hand found her own as they gazed out at the distant sunset, the brazen red cutting the horizon in half, and the warm orange taking an almost merciful light on the world below.  

"Its incredible." Lily said, squeezing James' hand tighter. 

He did not reply, but took in a slow, deep breath that said it all for him. 

"We really do have to stop this." she said, pulling her gaze from the sunset to his eyes, which were equally humbling. 

"We aren't hurting anyone." 

"They will be hurt when they find out." 

"Lily, you worry too much." 

"Can I help it that I happen to be attracted to egotistical guys who always like more than one female at a time?" 

"Are you insinuating something?"  he laughed. 

"Me?" she said, with overdisplayed shock. "Never." 

He kissed her quickly on the cheek, and allowed one arm to lay across her shoulders. 

"So…you're going to meet me here tomorrow, right?" he said laughing. 

"You're such a pig." She mumbled, "one of these days we are going to have to come clean. I don't want to either, but I can't stand being away from you, and I can't stand lying about how I feel." She smiled, looking up into his eyes. 

He rose to his feet,  a slight grin playing across his lips, as he offered her his hand to help her up. 

Lily got to her feet, but did not stop persisting in his response. "Well?" 

He looked into her eyes for a few breathless moments, until she felt her heart beating heavy against her chest. James' hand rested gently on the back of her head, and he slowly pulled her closer, all the while, Lily's heart near explosion. 

His lips meet her own, and suddenly, she needed no response. Lily forgot all her common sense, all her opinions, all her independence, and all her cares. All that she could feel, touch, and think was him. The picture grew blurry on the edges until all she could focus on was the way it felt to be close to him. The way her heart beat unsteadily - the way she loved him. 

When the kiss ended, neither felt the need to say anything, and for a few blissful moments, they just stood together, the wind now gently lifting Lily's flaming hair from its resting place on her shoulders, as it whispered in across the crystal navy sky. 

"Why must you do that?" Lily laughed, breaking the silence. 

"do what?" 

"Don't play stupid with me James Potter." She said pinching his arm. 

"What?!" he laughed. 

"Whenever you don't want to answer a hard question you kiss me, then I can't think and I forget." She answered. 

"You didn't forget this time." he said, grinning. 

"It was a bad kiss." Lily replied with a smirk. 

"Hey!" he laughed. "Low blow." 

  "Oh please, like that comment could possibly deter your ego, Potter?" 

"Does anything have to change?" he said seriously. 

"Well, no…I guess not." 

"But, I still feel for Katelyn, and I know that you will never not love Greg." 

"Yes but, can we sacrifice our feelings, out of fear of hurting others?" she asked. 

"Lily?" 

She blinked with her large eyes in response. 

"Lets give this awhile." 

"I have a big History of Magic test in the morning. I have to go." She said expressionless. 

"I don't want to hurt you." 

"I know that." She said with a weak smile, and she turned to leave him standing alone in the dark tower, with nothing but the taunting stars for company. He stood in solitude for minutes after she had left. Thinking - praying - Hoping, that somehow, love would find a way.

Lily found herself living off that kiss for days. Some days, she bumped into James in the enormous, spacious hallways, but they both diverted their gazes. Some days, they met early before anyone else in the Gryfinndor Common Room was stirring, and without speaking, they would sit next to one another on the large overstuffed maroon sofa's, just thankful to be close to the other. Some days passed too quickly, and some days dragged on. 

            She found herself thinking about it during her History of Magic class, which she had with the Slytherins, who could quite easily make hell on earth a reality. In her seven years at Hogwarts, she had learned who she could tolerate, and who she could not. One of those on her 'could not' list was Marissa Parkinson, quite easily the most sought after female at Hogwarts. She was the stereotypical mold of a goddess, complete with chin length bobbed, blonde hair,  sparkling blue-purple eyes, and a body that everyone wanted but very few had. She was not only a huge threat to Lily in the male department, but also a very good student, who prided herself on being able to shut Lily down. As if all these facts were not enough, she was a Slytherin, complete with all the traits that go with it. Her shrewd, cunning nature saved her many a day from those who otherwise were impossible, and currently, she was dramatically leaning on  James shoulder. 

            Lily felt her blood run cold. 

            "This is insane." She angrily whispered to Sirius, seated next to her. 

            "I know, I hate Slytherins." 

            "Don't we all?" 

            "There's one in every family." He replied, yawning. 

            Lily wished nothing more than to walk up to James, wrap her arms about him, and kiss him like she had so many evenings before. Yet, she could not, she was stuck to her unrelenting chair, forced to suppress all her feelings that were bubbling up within her.

            As the bell rang, Lily's eyes followed James all the way out of the door, and into the hall where Katelyn and Marissa stood exchanging death glances. Lily laughed as she walked past him, and grabbed his index finger and squeezed it once then continued on to the common room. It seemed as if that was all they had shared in the past few days. Just little glances, second long hand holding, and tiny pecks on the cheek between classes. 

            Yet, it was these things that carried her throughout her day. His face, shining down at her as she sat miserably at a table in the library trying to understand the most recent transfigurations lesson. The way his arms found a perfect place around her waist, when she had had a hard day. All these things made them ….. "Them" 

            Yet, fairy tales do not exist, at least, not to those who are realistic. Lily bitterly closed her eyes as she made her way to her next class, Sirius and Jenny at their usual places by her side. She had grown so accustomed to their presence, life after Hogwarts seemed unfathomable. Therefore, she just refused to think about it. 

              
            "I hate Trelawny." Sirius mumbled, waving his hands about his face, in a futile attempt to divert the purplish haze that was floating around the room, from his face. 

            "I hate this class." Lily whispered behind him, taking her regular seat with Sirius, Jenny, and Patrick, a quiet boy from Hufflepuff with no real confidence to back up his intelligence. Lily smiled warmly at him before pulling her hair up, in another futile attempt to save herself from the smothering heat within the confined area. The professor spun around random tables with an excited horrified look. As she approached their table, Jenny stifled a laugh - unsuccessfully. 

            "Watch out Lil, here comes your omen of death." Jenny laughed, pinching her side. 

            "I feel a penetrating darkness coming from your area Lillian Evans." Trelawny  whispered airily.

            "You can call em." Lily whispered to Jenny as Sirius passed her a galleon under the table. 

            "You know it." Jenny smirked. "I said three galleons Sirius, not one. Cough it up!" 

            He sighed dramatically and handed her two more. "Here it comes." He laughed. 

            "I have a feeling that you will soon make a decision that will cause a sudden death, followed by a shriek of pain from one who knows you best." Lily smirked and looked over at Jenny. 

            "Hey, I'm gonna shriek If this class doesn't end soon." Jenny said bitterly. 

            Lily closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep for the remainder of the class. Her head felt heavy, full of thoughts, full of dreams, and full of nightmares. 

(Dream Sequence) 

            "Yes Master, it shall be done." A shadowed figure commented. 

            The dream was taking on a vivid, realistic, energy, and she felt the heat of the blazing fire on her face. The room she found herself in was completely cold, dull, gray stone, the only furniture in the room was a worn down red armchair with large oak legs. In its finer days, Lily was sure the color had been brilliant and welcoming, but through the years it had just become a faded, menacing looking chair. There were two large windows on either side of the cold room, but the only view offered from them were dark leafy green trees, and clouded gray skies, that seemed to carry with them a feeling of ominous dread in its presence. The chair sat facing a glowing fire, with no wood in its hearth, heated by the chilling evil in the evil. 

            Lily craned her neck to get a closer view of whatever was seated at that chair, but the shaded figure beside her spoke up again. 

            "Will I get her soon My lord?" 

            "Yesss." The voice was hallow, yet rich, and malicious. 

            "And her name?" 

            "Evansss….Lily, Evansss." 

            Lily felt burning cold rise up from the ground. As she turned to look at who was standing beside her she woke up. 

            "Lils!" Jenny's voice pierced through the cloud of attention when one is not asleep, yet not awake. 

            "I'm here, I'm here." she replied. 

            "Comeon, class is over." 

            "You look real pale Lily." Sirius commented. "Nightmares?" 

            "Even worse," Lily spoke quietly. "Reality." 

_____****

**            After a very long day, filled with bickering students, teachers with foul moods, and endless homework Lily had entered into her dormitory without eating dinner or meeting with Jenny and Sirius. Instead she laid face down on her bed and closed her eyes, wistfully. Soon enough, Hedwig, a baby snow owl, given to her by Sirius years earlier fluttered in and dropped a thick letter on her back, waking her with a start. **

            _Dear Lillian, _

_                        As you know, as your concerned Mother it is my responsibility to discuss with you matters at hand, that will undoubtedly effect you later on in life. Greg has written to me several times this past week, informing me on your changing moods, and how you seem to be floating farther and farther away from him. He's concerned, Lillian. He fears loosing you, and he asked me to write to you, to see if there was anything he could do to change your mind about him. _

_            I do hope that you realize how very important it is for you to stay in a nice, stable relationship at times like these, daughter. Life is not easy, you know that, trust me, ever since we lost your father to Voldemort, times have been very hard for us Evans. And trust me darling, I know best. Greg is just perfect for you, he holds the key to any door that you wish to open, and I've always told  you to follow your dreams. However, don't get crazy now. The Windmiere's have always shown you love, and kindness, and turning away from Greg just months before graduation would surely let them down. Goodness knows, we must keep up the family name. _

_            You have always had a wild imagination, Lillian. From the time you were younger, until now, you have always wanted more of this world, you've always wanted to take a deep breath and be everything you can be, and I believe you can do it, but please…do not forget about Greg. You make rash decisions, and more commonly, you let your heart complete the decision making. Don't be foolish, you always were a little flighty, just stay with Greg. And, even though I hate to say this…I feel I have no choice. If you do not repair problems with Greg, you can just as soon pretend that I am not your mother. I  have never asked much of you, but now I ask only one thing. Do the right thing. _

_                                                                                    Your loving Mother_

            Lily felt tears pouring from her eyes, bitter, hot, stinging tears, that were out of anger, confusion, and solitude. Her heart screamed James, but her mind demanded that she stay with Greg. For the sake of everything she had ever know…all her life she had tried to live up to her Mothers expectations, she had tried with everything in her to be the perfect child, but it mattered little now. There was no hope.

**Catch your breath, **

**hit the wall.**

**Scream out loud, **

**as you start to crawl.**

**Back in your cage,**

**the only place. **

**Where they will**

**leave you alone.**

**            James entered the room slowly, and shut the door behind him without any noise. He immediately spotted Lily seated at the edge of her bed, head in her hands, weeping silently. Several tears, sparkled in the moonlight, before crashing to the floor. He walked over to her, and took her into his arms. She wept. **

            " I know I'm doing the wrong thing. I'm hurting everyone, and myself." 

            "You are doing nothing wrong. You cannot control the way you feel." ****

**            "They made this relationship for me. She said he was good for me, settled, balanced, and a life mapped out before him, and I never questioned it…until you." she said looking up into his warm eyes.******

**Cause the weak will seek the weak, **

**until they've broken them.**

**Could you get it back again?**

**Would it be the same?**

**Fulfillment for their lack of strength at your expense**

**Left you with no defense?**

**They tore it down. **

**            "Lily," he whispered quietly, kneeling at her feet, still equaling her height. He placed his hands on either side of her face. **

            She looked up at him in response, a tear fell from one of her eyes and danced down his fingertips. 

            "I will not force you into any decision. I just want you to be happy. Because, I know I can do that. I can make you laugh, make you smile." He said softly.

**And I have felt the same, **

**as you, I have felt the same. **

**            "I don't know what to do James. I don't want to hurt him, its not his fault I'm being forced into the future when I'm only seventeen." She whispered. **

            "What do you mean?" he asked. 

            "She wants me to marry him. She thinks he's secure, and stable, and she told me that I was flighty, and I needed stability in my life." she laughed bitterly. 

**A lot of times I'm,**

**the only place,**

**where you feel sheltered**

**where you feel safe. **

**You lost yourself, **

**in your search to find. **

**Something else, to hide behind. **

**            "I just want you to be happy. Even if its not with me." he answered. **

            "I'm not happy without you!" she cried. "Even if I stay with him and agree to their methods of conformity it will still not fix this. I'll always be thinking of you, missing you, wishing you were there. I can't live that way." 

            "I know. Neither could I." He said, taking his hands from her face and holding her own. 

            "What do you mean?" 

            "I let Katelyn, go." He mumbled, looking away. She grabbed his chin lightly in her own hand, and forced him to face her. " It wasn't fair to her, everytime I looked at her, I thought of you." 

**And I have felt the same, as you…**

**I have felt the same. **

**            "James, I don't want to be a bride. I don't want to live a lie. I don't want to pretend to love someone to appease someone else." **

            He looked into her eyes. "What are we going to do?"****

**Cause the fear will also prey upon your confidence,**

**did you see the consequence?**

**They pushed you around. **

**They try to build kingdoms made of the different ones**

**breaking them till they become, **

**just another Crown. **

**            "I don't know. I care for him, but not the way I care for you. He's become a vulture, always looking over my shoulder, not allowing me to spend time with Jenny, and exploding into sudden fury whenever I'm with Sirius, or you. I'm not Lily anymore. I'm just an empty shell, following around this bird of prey that seals my future will a promising good name, and stability, but will never allow me, my independence, or my freedom." She whispered.  **

            "Lily." He started. 

            "No." she said, decidedly.  "I cannot hurt you, you are too good to be hurt by me. You have that loving heart, James. Don't let me turn you cold and bitter." 

            "Lily, wait." 

            "No. Leave." 

            "But…" 

            "Leave James. I will not hurt you." she whispered, turning her face from him. 

**Refuse to feel **

**anything at all**

**Refuse to slip**

**refuse to fall**

**can't be weak**

**can't stand still**

**watch your back**

**cause no one will. **

**            "Lily, before I go you have to hear just one thing." He said, standing up and placing one hand on her cheek.  **

            "Don't go throwing your own happiness away to save me. I will abide by anything you decide, but if you think that living a lie is going to solve anything, you are wrong. By any and all means, you are wrong. I don't want to loose you, but I can't force you to feel for  me, and I won't try." He leaned down, and kissed her cheek softly. Her entire body ached, and she wanted nothing more than to reach out for him as he turned to the door to leave. 

**Don't believe the lies that they have told to you**

**not one word was true.**

**You're alright**

**You're alright**

**You are right. **

**            "James." she whispered after her had left. "You're all I've ever wanted, I just don't know how to get there." **

**Authors Notes: Love is a friendship, set on fire.**


	5. Don't let some foolish heart leave you b

**_Chapter Five_**

****

**_Authors Notes: There are some mistakes in life that you cannot erase. You cannot wipe the tears from someone's eyes, and pretend that all the pain never existed. Sometimes, when you break a heart, maybe when you even break your own, you have to feel the pain to appreciate that brief light of happiness that once was, and you must never…. Forget. _**

****

**_                                                                                                Always,_**

**_                                                                                                        Aly_**

****

Lily woke up in her bed the next morning with such exhaustion she felt her eyes had never closed. 

            "Geez Lil, what the hell happened to you?" Jenny said from across the room. 

            All about Lily's bed were her covers, thrown askew and disheleved. Her pillows were on the ground, her sheets were twisted around one of the four posts. Her hair had fallen from its braid and now lay about her shoulders in haunted waves. Her tank top was falling off one shoulder, and one of her legs lay dangling off the edge of the bed. She sat up slowly and wiped a few tiny beads of sweat from her forehead. 

            "Lil? You're scaring me." Jenny said, slowly walking towards her. Lily stood up and took long strides into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her. She pushed on the cold water full blast and got in, allowing the exhilarating cold to beat reality into her. She stood there, motionless for a few moments, her thoughts flying about her brain like crazed bees. She washed her hair and then, as if time had either gone on terribly slow, stopped, or sped ahead to a dimension to which she did not know, she was standing before her mirror desperately trying to recall what had haunted her to these depths. Just as she was leanign down to splash water on her still pale face, she jerked her head up and looked at her reflection. Horrified, and near tears she recalled what it was that had stolen her sleep. 

"Yeah, so she's a mess. She's upstairs all pale and sweating and shaky. I'm scared." Jenny whispered to Sirius over breakfast. Her kinky brown coils springing about her cheeks and chin. 

"Jenny, I'm not trying to scare you more but James is exactly in the same condition. He was screaming in his sleep, I thought he'd wake the whole castle up. He woke up sweating, crying, it was horrifying. You would have thought someone killed him in his dreams." Sirius said as they left the Great Hall and headed towards their first class - Divinations. 

Lily sprinted through the empty halls. The spandless blue sky was pushing its way through the long narrow windows, as if trying to bring summer directly to the students. Lily had just managed to pull her school robe on and pull her hair back as Divinations started. Now, as she was desperately running up the tower in a futile attempt to sneak in without being noticed by Trelawny, she was she this was going to be an unforgettable lesson. 

            "Why Hello Ms. Evans. Sleepy dear?" Mrs. Trelawny mused, pursing her ruby lips together in a angry, amused fashion. 

            "Sorry Ma'am, just couldn't get moving today." 

            "No excuses, just sit down." Trelawny's robes were of deep purple today, and reflected with youth against the sunlight, protruding through the windows. Her neck seemed slightly weighed down by her large necklaces of opals, rubies, and topaz jewels, all surrounded in gold. She spun her long wispy fingers, a ring of a different color on each one, around her clouded crystal ball and closed her eyes. 

            Lily sat down awkwardly, between Jenny and James. Sirius stared at her from across the table. 

            "What!" she whispered. 

            "Nothing, just wondering how you were." He said, diverting his eyes. 

            "I'm fine. Thank you Siri." She whispered, as she glanced up at Trelawny, who she was sure had fallen asleep. 

            "Lily, you and James should compare evenings, you both obviously had a long night."  Jenny said. 

            James eyes reached hers quickly. "Nightmares?" he asked. 

            "Terrible." She said, opening her green eyes wide. 

            "So, what was yours about?" James asked Lily, across the table from her at dinner. 

            "Lets not talk here." she mouthed, just as Greg came over and sat next to her, wrapping his arms about her waist. 

            "Hey you." she said softly. 

            "Hey Beautiful. How are you?" 

            "Great." She smiled. 

            "That's the most fake smile I've ever since." James grumbled into his plate. 

            "What?" Greg asked. 

            "Nothing, I was talking to Sirius. How are you Greg?" He answered with a smirk. 

            "Wonderful, now that I'm here, with this incredible one." Greg smiled, kissing Lily's cheek. 

            "Do you know how much more pleasant life is with you in it Lil?" Greg asked her. 

            "Greg. Can you not sit so close to me right now? I'm not feeling well." 

            "Sorry." he mumbled, dejectedly. 

            "We've got to work on that paper, James." Lily said. 

            "Off to the common room?" Greg asked. 

            "No, the library." James interrupted, waving goodbye. 

            "Lily!" Greg called out as they were about to leave. "Don't forget, right after graduation we're leaving for Rome." 

            "You're going to Rome with him?" James asked. 

            "Do I detect some bitterness?" Lily retaliated. 

            "You're going to stay with him, aren't you?" 

            " Yes." She said. There had been long silences between their sentences, and now they were seated at a table in the quiet, spacious room.  

            He placed a hand on her leg under the table. "Why?" 

            "I have to James. I need my mother, goodness knows she the only family I have left."  She turned her face from him…tears now sliding down her face. Her turned her face toward him, and brushed her tears away. 

            "Stop. Don't you do that for me. I don't deserve them." James said. His brown eyes peering at her from behind his black frame glasses, and then Lily saw the child she had seen in her dream. She quickly looked away. 

            "You look like him." she whispered. 

            "Like who?" 

            "Him…the child in my dream. He was just an infant, falling all around the house, with wild black hair and excited green eyes." She smiled. " I loved that child, even though I don't know any one with an infant like him. I think he's a figment of my imagination." 

            "Lily, that baby was in my dream too. Only, you were holding him." 

            Lily felt ice take the place of her blood. "Then there was a fire." 

            "An explosion." 

            "Then a grotesque gray face, with hell-brazen eyes." She whispered. 

            "Then it all went black." He finished.  

            They had clutched hands under the table without recognition. 

            "But I had another before that, someone is trying to kill me, James." 

            "Kill you before that child can be born." He answered. 

            "You can't fight destiny though…can you?" 

            "I'd like to." James whispered, leaning towards her, and kissing her softly. 


	6. I can save you

** "If you want to, I can save you..**

**I can take you away from here.**

**So lonely inside**

**So busy out there**

**And all you wanted was somebody to care."  **

**                                    ~ Michelle Branch**

**Chapter Six**

****

Lily's sundress flew about her legs, and she smiled contently, gazing up at the burning sun lighting the streets of Rome with such gratitude she felt her heart warming in its long fingers. Greg and Lily looked like models, someone sees on the cover of a tourist magazine. Her right arm was wrapped around his left, Greg sporting his usual "I have the kind of money you dream of" outfit. He wore khakis with a light blue Versace shirt, and a pair of black sunglasses, pushed up on his brown hair. His skin was tan by nature, and his only hint of being out in the sun was a tiny red patch of skin on the bridge of his nose. 

Lily wore a thin strapped light purple sundress that complimented her frame, and stopped just above the knee. She had left her fiery hair down in its usual kinky waves, but tied a light purple piece of silk over her hair like a flat headband to keep her hair from falling in her eyes. Greg had teased her about it, but she had ignored him, she rarely listened to his comments anyway. She now was shading her eyes and staring off into the distance with a large smile upon her face. 

Seventh years at Hogwarts commonly took a week off before the month of April as a reward for their hardwork and in preparation for the N.E.W.T's and graduation. Now she was touring the glittering streets of Rome with Greg and his family, before returning to the welcoming halls of Hogwarts. She grinned blissfully. If only Greg wasn't so oblivious to her loves, her passions, her dreams. She smiled, despite her painful thoughts, and walked into a small bistro with the Windmiere's. She sat down across from Mr and Mrs Windmiere, both high time executives of huge enterprising companies that not only reached the muggle world, but the magical realm at that. They were far from discreet about their riches. Greg was an only child and a spoiled one at that. The Windmiere's were kind enough, in fact they were sending her mother out to meet her tommorow, and spend the day with her. Of course, she would be leaving the next day. Mrs. Evans was always terribly busy fussing about her home and job, she was quite a miserly woman. There was a keen spark beneath her eyes that very rarely surfaced. She had remarried for money, but her husbands business had hit bankrupt early into the marriage. She stayed with him out guilt, and fear of being alone. Lily loved her mother for what she was, not what she wanted her to be, even though she missed her merry laughter that used to dance through the halls of their old home, whenever life was simple, and laughter was sincere, and happy. Lily cherished the memories of her childhood, but more than any memory with her mother or father (or their respective wives or husbands) she cherished the breath of life the memories of her grandmother. Her sweet fragrance of outside - Her incredible beauty, despite her years of tiring work - Her ageless optimism, regardless of the pain of her past, and her sometimes unclear future. Everything that embodied goodness fell deep within her grandmother. Her sparkling eyes, warm smile, and tender arms that were stronger than any man, but gentler than any woman. Lily loved her Grandmother with such adoration and warmth she felt that when her grandmother had left she had lost apart of her heart, buried it with her…under the cold soil of a thoughtless earth. She could never recover what she had lost, she could never feel the warmth radiating off her face. In fact, since her grandmothers parting she could not remember the last time she had truly smiled and meant it. Her heart ached now with the childhood need to be held, by someone who loved her, who understood her, and who cared about her, sincerely. Lily wondered if that was why she had become so hard, so relentless, so cold. Had her very heart been cast to stone? Then again, when one looses the one person that loved them unconditionally for what they were, its hard to find good in the world. How can you be happy when the one person that ever brought you happiness has passed on to the shining, glittering, peaceful gates of heaven - leaving you behind in a cold, dark, realistic world?

"I suppose your mother will be arriving shortly …this afternoon Nancy?" Mr. Windmiere commented. 

"Yes..this afternoon. But I must tell you darling, your mother said she would have to be leaving this evening as well." 

Lily ignored her condescending tone and responded with a smile. "That is just fine." 

Sure enough Mrs. Evans arrived that evening, and entered the grandiose hotel room with enchanted eyes. 

"Lily! Darling! How lovely to see you!" She announced too loudly. 

"I'm fabulous, Mom." She responded with a fake laugh she was sure no one could see through. After all, the only woman who could ever see through her fake laugh was gone…was dead. 

"That is just great dear. Where are we going for dinner? I'm just famished." 

"Well, I thought about this nice little café on the main stretch. Just the two of us." 

"Just the two of us? You mean the Windmiere's aren't coming? How terrible. I love listening to their stories." 

"Come on Mom, the café is just down the lane." Lily said taking her by the arm and ignoring her blatant disinterest in her life. 

Their heels clicked on the brick sidewalk as they made their way into the café. The city seemed to take on its own being in the nighttime. Every brick was illuminated by a melting moon, and every person wore a smile of utmost contentment. 

"You are being a gracious guest?" Mrs. Evans spoke as she took her seat. 

"Yes Mother." 

"Now…lets get down to real matters." 

"what?" Lily asked, slightly taken aback. 

"Marriage." Mrs. Evans said smiling. "Don't be childish Lillian, you knew it would come to this." 

"Mom, I'm eighteen. Please don't start this again!" she said laughing. 

"You're nineteen, Daughter!" 

"I am not." Lily said, resting her head on her hand hopelessly.

" You were born….July…" 

"January." 

"Exactly what I said….January…seven.." 

"First." 

"Same difference. Regardless, you will shortly be nineteen, and that is precisely the age I married at. Its proper, and oh darling, do you have any idea of the opportunities of marrying a Windmiere will offer you?! Oh, you can't imagine!" she said dreamily, now sipping her coffee. 

"Mom. I don't want to get married. I'm going to be an Auror." 

"What? That is ridiculous, you won't even have to work if you marry Greg!" 

"But I want to work, and I want to make a difference." Lily said smiling. 

"This isn't really up for conversation darling. I've already spoken to the Windmieres, and they think you are a splendid choice. They really are quite taken with you." 

"Have you lost your mind? I'm just beginning my life..marriage is a permanent thing that I'm in no means ready for. No." 

"What do you mean no?" 

"No." Lily whispered. 

"As I said, this isn't up for debate Daughter." 

"You need my consent to marriage!" Lily argued, turning several heads in the café. 

"Now hush Lillian, don't you cause a stir." 

"I will not hush! I am not your puppet! Fulfill your dreams through some one else!" Lily yelled, her emerald eyes boldly staring at her mother. 

"You take your voice down." Mrs. Evans scolded. 

"No. Not anymore." Lily rose from the restaurant and ran all the way back to the hotel. She had decided on her mad rush to the hotel that she would back her bags and meet  Jenny at the train station early the next day. 

"Lily!" Greg announced, clearly happy at her return. Poor thing, he honestly did care for her. 

"Hello Greg. I hate to tell you dear, but I'm not feeling well, and I'm afraid that I'll have to return home. I'd hate to ruin your trip, so I'll return alone." 

"Oh you poor thing, come here, let me help you." 

Lily walked to his open arms, glad for a moment of peace. But just as her head reached his chest he pulled away laughing. 

"Silly girl, I meant let me help you pack." 

Lily lay in bed that night staring up at the ceiling, miserable. She just wanted to die. Right here in this very bed. She wanted to die, and never come back. She didn't want to hurt Greg, or let her mother, or the Windmieres' down, but she could not take this anymore. She never did anything right, and she just wanted to die. To end it…once and for all. 

            Something stirred in the dark, empty room. Lily's eyes darted to adjust to the light. The bed -  The curtains - The floor -  The walls. What was that?  As she pulled her slender legs from the covers of her bed a lamp collided with the floor with a piercing shatter. Orange and purple sparks jumped from the broken bulb before fading back to the ground..hopelessly. Lily squinted..her heartbeat now so strong in her chest she could nearly fell it pounding against her rib cage. 

Greg stumbled over her sheets upon the floor. 

            "Quiet Lily, it's okay honey, it's me." 

            "Greg! How'd you get in here?" She asked as he pulled her into his arms. 

            "Look at me." He said smiling, holding her out at arms reach. "I won't ever let anything happen to you." 

            Lily smiled awkwardly. "You're acting odd." 

            "Collapra Expecto!" he yelled…and Lily crumpled to the floor…being drown in her own screams of pain. 

When Lily awoke she felt warm blood upon her head. She winced slightly, and tried to sit up, but she could not…she could not move…her entire body felt as if it was on a dull fire. She looked about her…. the room was gray everywhere, large gray stones of varying shape created the cold walls. There was a fire roaring in the fire place, but projecting a cold glow, and no wood fueling the fire, just evil. Lily noticed a large stone table, and several ropes around it. There were viles of endless colored potions, steaming, and giving off terrible smells. Her entire body ached with an excruciating pain but she could not tell where it was coming from. 

"Look, the flower arises." 

Her blood ran cold…that hiss, that whispered evil…she knew this all too well…Voldemort. No…no….no…..this was a terrible nightmare. She desperately tried to get up and run, but she could not pull together her strength. There was no hope. 

"Bind her to the table." 

Greg lifted her into his arms. There was no loving notion about it, she was going to die, and he was going to help him do it. It was all coming together. The Prophecy, every dream she had ever had….this was it…Lily was to birth the child that would be his downfall, and Voldemort was going to make sure she would not live to create his end. 

"Coward." She whispered bitterly. 

"What wasss that?" Voldemort asked, his rotting breath close to her face. 

"You can't kill me in good health, or by yourself, so you con idiot Greg to do it for you, while I'm half unconscious and bleeding to death. I'll probably die of blood loss. Sorry to burst your bubble." She mumbled. 

"You're never going to change Lily." Greg answered. "You're too stupid to know when to just shut up. Well, as if it wasn't clear enough…let me inform you. Shut your worthless mouth." 

"Greg, the day I listen to any useless word you utter is the day when I cut off my own leg and eat it for nutritional value, you hideous, revolting, little prat." She answered bitterly…the warm blood making her vision blurry and her body painfully light. 

"Strong words for someone bound to a sacrificial table." Greg responded sharply. 

"You better hope I stay bound to this table for your sake, you sorry…." 

"Lily, killing you is going to be the most enjoyable experience I've shared with you in quite some time." Greg started. 

            "Hmm…at least you've had ONE enjoyable experience. You and those big strong words you coming from the boy who has to tie me to a table to have the balls to insult me."

            "SILENCE YOU TWO!" Voldemort responded. "Give me the knife. Flesh, blood, and bone." ( Authors Notes : Anyone recall this cermony from The Goblet of Fire? If you do, I award your house fifty points!) 

He cut a large slit down Lily's arm. The blood ran from her arm with unrelenting speed. Lily's heart pounded uncertainly in her chest. She didn't want to die. Not to these two blithering idiots, anyway. 

"For being an unstoppable sorcerer…you had to bind me to a table to do this?" Lily said through clenched teeth.

He stared back, hard. Her heart began pounding uncontrollably, and painfully. Each and every one of her veins stood on end, as if they were about to run away from her body. Searing pain that she could not describe swept over her like diving into a pool of fire. She screamed until she could no longer hear herself. The pain took over, and suddenly the only distinguishable color in her eyes was white….blaring white…fierce and relentless as she envisioned herself breathing her last.

Then, all at once, it happened. There was a huge resounding blast, and the entire gray wall was destroyed. Several voices were heard, she heard screaming, running, spells, and several explosions, but they were very distant, as if she were far away from her body. Perhaps, I've died. She thought. But she was wrong. Soon enough she was being scooped up into two strong arms that were holding her tight against their chest. She felt tear drops on her head, but she could not reach up to tell her rescuer she was alright. She could not tell them to stop crying for her. Perhaps, for the time being, she really was away from her body. 

Lily awoke to a steaming potion that smelled of the coffee her Grandmother used to drink - strong, and fragrant, but with a certain warmth to it. 

"Nunna?" she whispered as she squinted her eyes open to the merciful daylight. 

She was laying in a crisp white bed, obviously in a magical hospital. Several fairies were spinning about and a few house elves were carrying trays of food and medicine to patients. Warming daylight lay on her covers as she tried to sit up. 

"No dearie, not now…you just rest. You've had quite a night. Now you just lay still. I hope he isn't bothering you." said a kind old nurse with a smile that blossomed several warm wrinkles. 

"He who?" Lily asked, finally finding her voice. 

"Oh Him, he's just a mess over you dearie. He's the one who brought you in, and sat beside your bed, leaning on your arms. I saw him crying, but he won't admit to it. Once I left to get your potion and when I came back there he was laying beside you, ontop your nice white sheets, getting them all dirty, but he'd fallen asleep, and won't leave your side, so I shooed off the fairies that were pestering him, and let him stay that way. He's your hero, he is." She said warmly. 

Lily slowly moved her head and came face to face with none other than James Potter, dried blood near his hair line, his glasses slightly uneven, his face dirty, and his hair messy, but she thought he had never looked better. He lay beside her on top of her hospital covers that she was nestled under. James was fast asleep but with one hand on her own he had stayed with her all night. She turned and looked at the woman. 

"No he's not bothering me." she smiled. "Not at all." 

"Well, I suppose he can stay there, the poor thing, he's just sick with worry. Now as for you, you drink this potion and try to fall back to sleep. I'll draw the curtains to keep it dark in here." She brought the potion to her lips and Lily compiled by drinking it. Then, just as the nurse was making it dark, the effects of the potion appeared. Her eyelids became so heavy she felt if she closed them, she may never be able to open them again. She leaned over to James and kissed him quietly before drifting off to dreamless sleep, curled up next to him…the world seemed right. If only for that instant….the world was right. 

**_Authors Notes: There are some things you can never forget, regardless of how hard you try, and sometimes, they are not meant to be forgotten._**


	7. Somewhere out there

**Dedication: With all the love and strength I can possibly muster.. I dedicate the remainder of this story to Tasha..the reviewer who made me believe I was worth something, that my writing was worth reading, and that it's never too late to dream. Her reviews single handedly inspired me to keep going, keep fighting, and keep being Aly. I'm not going to change who I am for anyone..and I'm not going to give up on my own dreams for anyone. Tasha, your belief in me reminded me that there are still fanfic readers and writers out there that enjoy my work. Thank you. The Lily James Romance is devoted to you…. Thank you so much…and thank ALL MY REVIEWERS! **

**Chapter Seven: Everything I've ever Known**

_"it's always raining in my head"  _

_ so I speak to you in riddles  _

_because my words get in my way_

_what's the point in all this screaming?_

_No one's listening anyway." _

****

Lily slid her jeans on over her bruised legs, only wincing once or twice. She'd been freed from the care of the Magical Hospital for close to a week now, but the pain had far from subsided. She had spent her first days back in the Gryfinndor dorms with Jenny; laying around, laughing, crying, reflecting, and their favorite pastime – eating. Jenny's idea of helping Lily to deal and heal from all her tremendous ordeals was a fairly simple..fairly basic…and in all actuality, brilliant. Jenny was her friend, was there, and loved her unconditionally as she always had. Even when she found Lily crying before the bathroom mirror at her battered reflection, she let her shed her tears and gave her all the space and time she needed.

In retrospect, it was a form of self-pity, but Lily couldn't fight it. The betrayal..all the lies..all the time and energy she spent…she wasted on someone who never wanted her anyway…. and if it hadn't been for James she would have died that very night. Cold and alone at the hands of a face that had once loved her dearly but fell to corruption and power..like so many other wizards clinging to Voldemort's memory and promise.Any love she had ever known was just a lie. Days like these she missed her Grandmother with such blind desire and longing she could feel her soul dissolving like sand between her fingers. Then there was James….James….what a terrible situation that had been. More often than she cared to admit her mind would quietly fade back to his place in the back of her memories… but rather than comfort her, the memories only reminded her that they were all that she had left …all because of Voldemort….Greg…those bastards. The night still seemed vivid in her mind, Greg's hallow eyes as he told her…. 

"Lily, you may have escaped, because of that git Potter, but you mark my words this is far from over." 

"Leave him out of this." Lily whispered, from her hospital bed, but Greg had leaned down and shook her without mercy until his eyes were inches from her own and then…these words were the most painful…

"You love him…you idiot….I see it in your eyes…and you know what…let me just tell you that if you so much as bump shoulders with Potter I'll kill him slowly, Lily. Just try me. I can't kill you yet, but I can come deadly close, and if you don't think that I'm crazy enough to do it…..just try…just try." His words cut deep into Lily, and the physical pain that he had just inflicted paled in comparison to the emotional anguish of the days that were to follow.

           Her reflection had even morphed into a frail, frightened girl…and Lily hated that more than anything. Growing up with boys, she was never one for social graces, poise, or delicate mannerisms at any cost. Facing the mirror…it's honesty was unbearable. Her varying shades of red wavy hair fell around her thin frame like a shield.  Her arms and legs felt light and unsturdy …what once was muscle and confidence…now felt frail and unreliable. She covered her thinning arms and legs with a long sleeved green shirt and the softest pair of jeans she could find before collapsing onto her bed, stifling back tears of self pity and anger.

~~~~~

Jenny slipped in quietly, and gently sat down at the edge of Lily's bed. 

"Lils." Jenny whispered, twisting her finger around one of Lily's curls.

"I'm sorry." Lily whimpered into her pillow.  "I'm fine." 

"Don't lie that badly to me." Jenny said, softly laughing. "Are you in a lot of pain?" 

"No…not really." 

            "You don't look as bad as you feel..you know that right?" 

            "It's not that I'm afraid of being ugly… I just..feel thin and helpless…and damnit! I hate feeling weak!" Lily screamed into her pillow again.

            "You aren't weak by any means. You survived the unthinkable, Lily."    

            "Like hell, if James hadn't….hadn't…" 

"You miss him don't you?" 

"Who Greg? Hell no." Lily said as she walked towards the door to go downstairs. She picked up her Arithmancy book and lightly twirled her wand between her fingers. The familiar solid wood gave her some sense of control…maybe she could do this.

"No, James." 

"Him?" Lily asked, opening the door and stepping onto the balcony that overlooked the Common Room. Several Gryfinndors were slowly moving about the room, trying to shake off the sluggish feelings of early morning. Amongst them was James Potter, black hair shining whilst a piece of the sunrise reflected off the frame of his glasses as he left for breakfast. 

"only every other thought…."  She answered softly.

~~~~

Breakfast was long. Lily found herself staring at the full plate in front of her, gently rolling food from one side to another instead of eating anything. Lily was painfully reminded that James was across the table from her, and her stomach wrenched everytime she looked up. He thought she hated him for what he had done, even though he felt he only had her best interests at heart. But he didn't know about the threats, James had no idea that if Lily so much as made eye contact with him Greg would kill him. But…..it felt as if someone had taken a rope …strangling her heart from feeling anything. She was painfully conscious of the strong drumming of her own heart, but could do nothing to soothe it. 

Sirius stood up and shoved his books under his arm and sadly shook his head as he left the table. Jenny was the next to leave, her eyes filled with tears. Soon Lily and James were nearly alone. Yet, while Lily was becoming anxious with the fact that Greg could see this as a threat, James was staring at her bowed crown of red hair, trying to see into her. 

"Lily, please, just tell me what I did, I'll change this…..I swear…Lily…" James whispered leaning across the table to her, his voice filled with desperation. "..anything…I'll do it." 

Lily pushed herself away from the table and walked away hurriedly, she didn't want to make a scene, but the tears falling from her eyes were not about to cease. James sat in silence at the table, numb, and confused. 

~~

"Yeah, but Divinations was the worst today… I couldn't believe all this crap I'm just supposed to make up, I mean, give me a break, like I care what the future holds, whatever the hell happens, happens." Sirius said, slamming his book shut and rolling his seeing ball of the table. 

"Oh for the love of Merlin, let me see." Lily yelled with a laugh, picking up his book and showing him the correct way. 

"Hey, Ms. I-know-absolutely-everything-because-I-study-over-the-summer can you help me when you're done with that git?" Jenny asked, swishing her wand, repeatedly causing random objects to explode. 

"This is going to be a long evening." Lily laughed. It was nice to feel her face turn up at the corners in a real smile again. 

James walked into the room, with a casual grin. "Hey, Padfoot, we've got to go down to the field in an hour, you know…HUGE Quidditch match against Ravenclaw." 

"I can't believe that they are this good our last year here, whenever they lost all the years before. I swear, something sneaky is going on with those people, too intelligent for their own good." Jenny said, smiling wickedly. 

"You certainly won't find any intelligence on our Gryffindor team." Lily laughed as Sirius waved his wand and caught Jenny's pant leg on fire.  

"Hey…well….She's got a point." Sirius mentioned, non chalantly stomping on Jenny's burning pant leg. "But that's your fault, you should be a better teacher." 

"Sirius, if Lily helped you anymore she'd be doing your homework you prat." Jenny mused, walking with Lily towards the dormitories, still unaware of her charred pants. 

"Hey, you guys are going to be out there tonight, right?" James asked, touching Lily's arm in passing. 

"Duh." Jenny said.

"I will be there, just not…where you guys can see me." Lily said, walking up the stairs. 

"What?" 

"She's mysterious…I think that's sexy." Sirius whispered loudly. 

"I think you're an idiot." Jenny said, smiling. 

~~

"And that makes the score seventy to twenty with Gryffindor struggling behind." 

"Seeker James Potter is circling madly, but he has to wait for two more goals." 

"And now, …that was Sirius Black's amazing arm that sent that Bludger to knock off the Keeper Adam Retta, leaving that goal wide open." 

"Yes! That's seventy to thirty for Gryffindor by a mad dash by Julie Spinnet." 

"Ravenclaw Seeker Peter Masonal has spotted the snitch!!! He's diving - Almost there! And here is James Potter madly keeping him away even though he himself cannot catch the snitch yet either." 

"Oh…Potter and Masonal have both been knocked from their brooms at the handiwork of Sirius Black." 

"OH! FOLKS! THERE SHE GOES! Katie Thomas of the Gryffindor is speeding towards the Ravenclaw goal….she's inches….YES!! That's a seventy to forty score, and Potter knows it….he's on that broom….searching…." 

"Adam Retta, keeper for Ravenclaw is now back into position, nose bloodied, but that's what Quidditch is about…anyway…." 

"Potter's going, going, there it is…he's inches away. I guess Sirius Black is making up for knocking his own player off his broom by warding off Masonal…..Potter's there….YES!!! That's the game for Gryffindor! Great game tonight folks!" 

Lily was breathless as she leaned out the Astrology tower watching the game, she had bewitched a magnifying glass into a thin glass of large portion that made her feel like she was really on the field. James face had looked so determined, and she found herself almost falling out into the dark night sky as she leaned closer to the glass that was floating outside her reach. 

She steadied herself by grasping the stone pillar beside her then sliding to the floor where she hugged her thinning legs to her chest. What happened from here? How was she to get to James without getting him killed in the process? A strong sense of weakness floated over her as she closed her eyelids. The silence of dark was soon interrupted by footstep rapidly approaching the tower. Then before she could run, there was James, his Quidditch robes shining like a trophy and his smile even more so….but he looked broken, and soon his face sombered and he gave her a look that reached her more than his words would ever say….

"Lily…I haven't a clue what is going on…I don't even know who you are…." He whispered.

**I haven't a reason,**

**a clue or a sign.**

**I haven't the slightest idea**

His voice echoed softly in the room, the stars were all listening in…

**of the shape of your heart**

**or the state of your mind**

**do you ever let anyone near?**

"I think you are much more fragile than you let on." He whispered again.

"You have to leave…now…James…I'm serious…right now." She said frantically. 

He walked closer to her, and she backed away, against the wall, tears falling silently on her face. 

"Lily? You aren't…..afraid of me, are you?"he whispered softly, backing away. 

**Do you ever reach out with arms opened wide**

**do you ever jump in, closing your eyes**

**or are you one of the fortunate kind**

**alone but not lonely?**

"Please…..please leave…this is for your own good…please James!" she said urgently, not weeping, but tears falling.

**Everyday on the street**

**I study the faces**

**of those who rush on through the crowd**

**towards their own quiet worlds**

**their separate places**

**somewhere I'm never allowed**

"No…I can't loose you, not like this….I'll change it…I'll make the world right again, just tell me what I did." 

"It's not you…you are in grave danger by being here….you really are…you have to leave…now…just, pretend I never said anything…just go…while you still can." She begged again, her eyes frantically darting over his shoulder…her tiny hands trying to push him away.

"Are you in danger again?" 

"Just GO!" she yelled. 

"NO!" 

"Then I will." She said, pushing past him, but he grabbed her arms and held her gaze. 

"Tell me." he said firmly. 

"Let me go." 

"Lily….you can't keep running."

**Cause I've always been one to say what I mean, **

**and then the next thing is done and I'm watching them leave**

**and I'm thinking, I wish I could be…**

**alone but not lonely.**

"James, I love you… you know I love you….but everytime you are near me, it's just another…..threat." 

"Greg." He said. 

"Yes. He's going to kill you…now let me go!" she yelled.

**So which one are you tonight**

**Do you change with the morning light?**

**Do you say more than what sounds right?**

**Do you say what you mean?**

His hold on her arms was making her skin feel as if it was on fire….She didn't want to move, but she had no choice. Before she knew it, he had pulled her close to him, against him, and with his face just inches from her own they kissed, a time slowing embrace, but then just as it had started, it was gone, and she did not know how to stop loving him……

**There are moments in time that are meant to be held **

**Like fragile, breakable things**

**there are others that pass us, you can't even tell**

**Such is their grace and their speed**

"I'm not afraid of Voldemort, or Greg, or anything else trying to hold us apart for that matter. You are all I want Lily Evans, and nothing and no one can change that." 

"As touching as that corny line was…you have to let me go right now, and I'm not kidding James. Let. Me. Go. Now!" 

            "Lily, drop the "I don't need you" barrier for a minute and listen to me. I'm not afraid of Greg and his empty threats because what I feel for you is not empty."  

**And this one is gone in the blink of an eye**

**You can ask me the truth but tonight I will lie**

**unflinching, I'll tell you that I'm…..**

**alone but not lonely.**

****Lily shoved his arms from her and took off running into the dimmed corridor of the astrology tower.

****

* * *


End file.
